The New Neighbor


All day long, she squats in front of my neighbor’s door,
Pisses, poopoos and sleeps on the floor.
Their sight and smell, she does abhor,
But awaits a chance for an unobtrusive stroll,
The moment they open their door.
And feign ignorance all the more,
As they shout and, surprised faces gape before.


She gapes back for a while
And faces the householder’s furore.
She runs swiftly in a minute, a mile
And annoys a few more.
She runs across the hall
And spills the bottle of wine,
She rolls over a ball
Unseen, and ouch! Hurts her spine.


She makes another move unshaken,
For a ride, which she herself has taken.
Breaks the glass, fells the flower
Of the vase that stood like a tower.
She runs hither and thither,
Hides at a place yonder,
Looks outside at the weather,
And hears the sky thunder.


They find many a scratch on the tile,
And wonder in unison, how agile!
And now he’s tired to the core.
Prrrr sounds the page which he tore,
In despair as he cant chase her any more,


A little girl wakes up and asks her papa,
What’s making u pant and go gaga?
Her sister replies in a tone of beguile,
Looks at the floor and points at the tile.
It walks and runs; and jumps and leaps;
Grunts and groans; moans and meows.


I sit in a saloon near a harbor,
Recollect and smile at the barber,
Who’s put the songs of Justin Bieber,
And I call her, my new neighbor.

-- Zee

GOD: Inflictions & Ramifications

Heavy rains batter coastal Andhra Pradesh as LAILA inches closer...Times, May 20...

Laila crosses coast; alert remains...Rain, gales claim 13 lives...The Hindu, May 21...

Laila weakens, leaves 16 dead; Thousands of homes flooded; cyclone threat not over...Times, May 21

East-West Godavari, krishna, Guntur, Praksham, Vishakhapatnam, Nellore...the list of districts prone to Laila keeps on getting longer. 3 persons were killed due to electrocution...

5 others killed due to different reasons by rains and accompanying winds...

The cyclone is slated to generate wind speed upto 125 kmph.

Low lying areas get inundated...electric poles get uprooted...power and communication lines get snapped...thatched huts washed away...trees uprooted ...escape routes flooded....

770 villages submerged...rail-road-air transport affected... thousands of acres of mango, chillies, papaya crops devastated leaving the farmers utterly helpless...

The government, has taken, a relatively swifter action when compared with the recent floods in Kurnool, though the magnitude and severity is less, it kept the state govt on its toes as the CM appointed some special IAS officers and deployed armed forces and rehabilitation camps and also that the casualities are low.

But enough has not been done. Though 65000 people, in-toto have been evacuated to rehabilitation centers, they dont even meet up to the minimal requirements. 

NO restrooms. NO proper sanitary facilites. No food. No water. Insufficient medical aid. 

CAN YOU IMAGINE YOURSELF IN THIS SITUATION? CAN YOU LIVE IN THIS SITUATION FOR 5 MINUTES?

PLEASE DON'T EXIT THE BLOG MISTAKING THIS FOR A NEWSPAPER(FOR U, MIGHT HAVE EXPECTED SOMETHING & ENTERED THIS BLOG)!!!

I blog this article munching a yummy bread-jam toast and pause to consider. They have not been able to have a drop of water, fistful of rice and are endlessly waiting for help. When will life get back to normal? When will the farmers start ploughing their lovely land back? when will the women folk get back to their routine? When will the kids get back to their normal school? when will everything be restored?

But before all that, when the hell will they get out of that godforsaken place and when will this monster leave 'em? Who will provide the answers? The Indian Meteorology Department? The Andhra pradesh state goverment? UPA government? Whom should they turn for answers? But in the first place, are these the right questions?

From a victim's point of view, no doubt, nothing else can be the main concern. And wht more can those victims ask for? surely not selective bread-jam toast. huh! BUT, then WHAT are the right questions & WHO shd ask them? Sitting behind closed doors, inside safe cocoons, neatly placed in ur own little universes, well nestled in ur seats, watching IPL or Football or playing NFS(no offence against any player though!), YOU are the right one to ask. Okay ok...WE are the right ones to ask. But then, 2 more questions, pop-up.

WHAT should we ask? WHOM should we ask?

Any answers? (Dont sue me calling this the third question!)

What is happening in this world? Terrorism. Corruption. High crime rate. Internal forces acting against government and disrupting the routine(the 'Reds'). Politics. Chinni chors. and then we also have, these natural disasters. Volcanic eruptions, earth quakes, floods causing havoc, irrevocable damage, bringing life to a stand still and testing the times! yes TIME! Who runs this world? Let me directly come to the point. Which super power(or supreme power) runs the world.(Fine the question might sound dumb). Hindu or Muslim. Christian or a person of any religion, the generalized term, we refer to The supreme power is, God.

He provides the very energy required to run this world. Evry day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. Every moment. every revolution required by an electron to revolve around nucleus. And infact the daily bread, we have, too is given by Him.(This bread also includes the one im having right now, no doubt!)

There can be no further doubt to question His omnipresence & omnipotence. His will. Strength. 

The electrons need permission frm Him to go round the nucleus. The protons need His consent to exhibit their positive charge. Gravitons need His permission for causing attracting effect. Photons need permission to leave the sun and travel the long 150 odd million miles journey to reach earth and provide life here. The nature needs permission to run. Leaves need permission to synthesize food using photo(solar) energy. Trees need permission to grow. You, me, infact WE need his very permission to continue our sustenance. He can take away our life at any moment he wants koz he's the one who gave it to us and can take away whenevr he wants.

I ask the reader to pause at this point to consider everything covered till now or re-read the above paragraph and then proceed further.

If God is so loving, caring, compassionate and if evry act of nature depends on his will, why did he let the valves of Laila loose and caused this? I find it hard to continue further as my Mind goes blank. I've no right to question Him about this work of his, considering myself an extremely insignificant part of this indescribably huge ever-expanding creation of His. But then, if we go back to the previous discussions few paragraphs above, we're talking about some right people, requiring to ask the right questions to the right 'authority' over this mess. Yes. You and I, let us ask Him, abt this. But when's the right time? Dont run to get the calender, now is the right time. Let us pose our questions. Well it all depends on us, if we're willing to pose questions or conduct a rapid fire round!(okay, no more comedy with God!)

Huh, so as I've already asked, if we're are a creation of His and his children, why is God inflicting us with this much of pain? "Loka Kalyanam', for the welfare of the world, as a sage might answer expending least energy, with a smile. or, Haven't u read the reports of Met Dept.? Some skeptics question. I'm not interested in the scientific  explanation underlying it. I want an answer from Him. As I said even electrons & protons need His permission, Science too is at his dispense. He can well change the laws at his will and who knows. Ten generations l8r we might study Energy can be created or destroyed!!! So, coming back to the point, why inflict so much  of pain to the world?
This is an age old question though. 
In the movie Dasavatharam, we see the Tsunami lashing away(the same way it did way back in 2004) and the reason the movie tells is: To protect the mankind from that dangerous virus(shown in the movie), God creates Tsunami and ensures that no trace of that virus is left and hence mankind can be saved. But weren't the repercussions jaw-breakingly appalling? The loss of huge properties, natural resources and most importantly, valuable human lives? But then tht sounded rather illogical explanation or may be I must used harsher words for that. But there is this one corner in my mind hinting me, tht of course there is an 'Antaraartham' , an inner meaning behind every act He does, so does this Laila havoc. But then, it requires tremendous patience and infinite will to meditate unto the inner meaning for this. How many more Swami Vivenkanandas do we need to ignite the spark in people to turn at least one step to Godhead? To atleast think of Him and thank Him for having given us this life? 
Of late, I have significantly lost my path(of advancing at least 1 step towards Him and have faced their repercussions). I have inadvertently lost the path of a straight line and traced a curve and have had faced enough ramifications. But now, I find this strange feeling resurfacing and rejuvenating me, energizing me further to, well, not save the humanity from natural calamities and terrorism, but the energy to come, Face to Face with the Will of the Supreme. Yes! Indeed. It has given me new hope of Life.
But one question still remains unanswered. Why God, all this havoc? I'm determined to find an answer and who knows, might live up till I get the answer to blog it out for the potential readers present!
So, the victims in their present state, might not be able to question God for this act. But then, dear Readers, I question you, to question him till He provides us with an answer. We might well demand for an answer and being His children, we get this right. The answer may not be be directly understood by us, as it requires a deep insight into the operational pattern of His will, one day, with some effort, we might come up with an answer! We shall do it...We can... YES WE CAN!

Check out Save Our Tigers | Join the Roar

Title: Save Our Tigers | Join the Roar
Link: http://gotaf.socialtwist.com/redirect?l=-378184185180316362511

A HAPPY Republic Day: Part-3

NOTE: If u haven't read the Part-1 & Part-2 of this, please don't proceed further. Stop here, read both the parts which are below this & come back!




As i sit in silent contemplation the auto wallah calls to remind me to get down at M'patnam and lo!..we are ther! Time passed off so very quickly! I pay his fare and go to the bus stop for an indefinite wait for a bus home. In the meanwhile I encounter many unwanted sights.Auto wallahs call out names of places where I come from and reminding myself of those wretched and damned places somehow irks me as I put my face away and languidly gaze elsewhere though I know very well that I'll have to make that my home for the coming 4 more years! The previous day's verbal argument with an STD friend of mine keeps resonating in my mind as it keeps me away from replying to her incessant msgs to inquire the reason for the cancellation of my program. I keep waiting for the right bus amidst a huge fleet of buses that I dont need; I also find that I'm not bothering about the apprehension anymore. 





An old couple comes to me to ask for money to go their place and show me their son's address as they somehow lost contact with him. They start narrating their story; that they were from a village near Vijayawada and blah blah blah and as I uninterestingly listen to their narration, it rang some bells! LO! They are the same couple who deceived me couple of years ago(roughly 2.5yrs) by the same touching story of mother and son sentiment to which i fell flat and parted a hundred rupees! It instantly starts angering  me! Once again my mind and heart start having a clash...not of their superiority to one another, but giving their view point to which i should act an impartial judge and choose the right one! My mind endeavors to tell me to screw them until they pay me back or atleast scold them. While my heart asks me to forgive them and leave the matter.I laugh away at the former suggestion and follow my heart. I avoid them and find solace in a cool lime soda from a roadside vendor. Then my trained eye finally cathches a right bus home.
I pay for the ticket and as I seat myself, I'm somehow reminded of the pain. It lingers in my mind for a while and I take my headphones and plug 'em into my ears and find myself enjoying to the blabber of the redio jockeys of the various radio stations and also the songs. As I keep listening to them sleep slowly takes over me as I, out of intuition slowly recline onto my back expecting a cushio, hit the hard metal surface and the jerk pulls me out of my sleep. I curse it and once again continue my previous business and this time I rest my hand on the window's metal embankment and rest my head on it and slowly doze off. Later I wake up at an abruptly right moment to see that I'm almost nearing my stop and prepare myself as I pluck off the earphones and put them back into my pocket and my lega, having practiced so much of dance in the past 3 days, painfully carry me to the door and I get down and head homewards.
Once I was home I could somehow feel the warmth and cosiness it offers me and once gain remind myself of the guy who pushed cart; the old loner police regulating the traffic and thank God for giving me everything and I hit the bed!

A HAPPY Republic Day: Part-2

NOTE: If u haven't read the Part-1 of this, please don't proceed further. Stop here, read the Part-1 which is below this & come back!


I find that I'm no more wanted by any of them.Though it isn't deliberate, everyone seem to be pissed off with everyone else. I'm enjoying the sunlight that is hitting me on my face directly! But the unknown apprehension is spreading across the body completely and I'm in no mood to stop it, scrutinize it and curb it completely. I let go of it. I completely allow my body, mind and heart to go free. Run wherever they want to. Think of whtever they want to. For the first time in many months, I find something is really making me happy. Something that has the source, waiting to be discovered by me. The apprehension is now at critical stage as it takes over my primary senses. I'm feeling gay.cheerful.Light at heart. I open my eyes and sit straight and see everything around me. It is really surprising to note tht the same environment that was so hostile earlier seemed so full of life now! 


Everything, as I find is taking shape and is materializing itself in a completely new way! I go back to the place where the audience are seated and find that prize distribution ceremony was on and brought cheer and anticipation of excietement to the faces who know, they've something in stock and dullness and apathy to those who are from then on jobless as they leave their places and go to find better ways of entertaining themselves! I find a smile on my face and wait for an hour more to see my dear friends receiving prizes and their beaming faces. And after they were done, I still found that I was not wanted by anyone. Though that seemed to take an altogether completely different picture now, it still pained me. I find that the apprehension has taken its control over the body and is in super critical stage I bothered it in the least! Though I dont know many of the guys around me I keep wishing them and congratulating them on their success and receiving prizes! I always like to stay alone and all the times have opted for seclusion. But this somehow seems different from all those previous times as I felt wanted!


In the meanwhile a lady calls me to find out if I can make it to home for lunch! And i irritatingly answer her that I wouldn't be coming and she can go ahead; and as I'm trying to disconnect the call the lady pesters me to tell what happened to my dance. I pause for a while and tell her what happened. Concerningly she asks the reason and how I'm feeling; I answer some crap and in an impulse cut the call telling her I'd be home soon and lying that I already had my lunch there. But why am I in such a haste? Why did I talk so impudently to the lady? After all she's been with me for 18 and a half long years thinking of me every second and living her life building up expectations on me and loving unconditionally! I felt cross with myself and my heart scolded me for being so rough with her. Then I find whispering to myself, "I love u mom!". Perhaps never in the recent times have I felt towards her as I'm feeling now. Unconditional love. Yes! I saluted with deep reverence to her and felt glad of her presence in my life.


It is often found that ppl in colleges are mostly identified by the gangs they maintain. By the groups they usually roam around wid. if u wanna stay alone and be friendly wid everyone, it might be okay in the short run, but in the long run shows its effect. Though i never maintained my gang I find my set of chums missing as they take a day off! Thus left alone, without informing anyone I take a 7seater and head towards mehdipatnam to take a bus home.


Though the world seemed bright for an hour or 2 I found myself back to the 'pissed of mood'! The ppl in the auto are chatting noisily unmindful of other's presence and other's need for silence! En route, though its a short journey, it made me realise so many things to which im thankful to...perhaps God!


Everything around is pacing off as usual, never bothering about the cancellation of some damned team's dance program in some college's Republic day function! Everything around seemed so normal. The completely militarized area of Ibrahimbagh and Narsingi seemed peaceful and usual. Vendors going around and yelling their products for sale. Shops filled with ppl having many requirements. A squirrel escapes its death as a car puts a sudden break. Workers laying the road. Amidst all these I still find some interesting sights! A young boy, perhaps 6-7 years of age, helps his dad do his daily routine of pedaling long distances with a cart filled with construction material. He pushes the loaded cart up a small elevation and as the task was completed the father happily looks at his son and pedals away and the sun looks for a while and goes away. Though it is a very ubiquitous scene, I somehow find it surprisingly different. I'm filled with so much of compassion and a small happy seed seems to be planted. I make effort to see what the young lad is up to and amidst the stagnant traffic I find tht he is having his lunch in an unhygienic place wid unclean hands in a roughly dusted parcel and seemed to relish it and is at peace. Though it is prevalent everywhere,I couldn't stop myself from thinking about it.
Then I find another loner like me; an aged gurkha or a police, I'm not sure, regulates the congested traffic and luckily ppl are heeding to him and a hidden smile is on his face which I can see it, not wid my eyes but with my heart. He helps children cross the road, diverts the traffic from an under-construction flyover and seems to be completely at peace with himself as I find no hint of irritation or disgust on his face. I smile lookin at him and he smiles back and points to the tricolor flag pinned to his shirt wishing me a happy Rday! Looking at everything I find that I'm in a far far far better position. In the sense, i dont have to push a cart to make a living,I dont need to eat in uncouth surroundings and I dont need to stand in the hot sun regulating the heavy traffic with loads of dust and pollution in the air! The happy seed now grew into a sapling! Deep within my heart I thank God for this all!
But there's still a lot to come in stock!

A HAPPY Republic Day: Part-1

This year's Republic day was no ordinary for me! The day though ended sadly, i was very happy!


3 days prior to it 2 friends of mine asked me urgently...like man we need u for singing.pls dont say no dude.and etc leaving me no option to say no.so i readily accepted and practiced for it. Vandemataram!
Then another friend asked me...Mama urgently we need a guy who can dance.and im sure u'll not say no. I was fed up of these last minute requests,nevertheless i accepted it and headed for practice! Bunked post lunch sessions on saturday consisting of mechanics physics and graphics! sweated hard and practiced for 2 outta 3 songs due to TIME constraint and showed it 2 the lady incharge who eyed us authoritatively showin how much she controlled our fate. As we humble presented ourselves she 'accepted' and well even my singing practice bore results as we were 'selected'!


All i did was msging my friends...like...hey u know im selected for singing....dude im dancing for R-day at my college, man...and hey ya! im participating in cultural events at my college and etc!


They all wished me well and seemed happy! And the practice went on hard on saturday and monday! The dance steps were so pretty impressive that i started callin 'em feats! They were so full of energy and packed wid action and seemed rocking as some of our non participating friends gave their critical comments! And wht not! U see, you're performing at a college for republic day and sweat hard and u have every right to dream about it, in the sense how wel it goes how're ppl gonna react and stuff like tht! Our's was a medley consisting of 3 songs...action packed steps...err feats and would steal the show for sure!...was all that was there in our mind...and heart too!


And then came the big day! the overall attendance though turned out not so impressive the presence of many of our friends seemed encouraging to us! And also, many parents were there and the stage was set and slowly one by one the events started taking shape! I couldnt wholly watch all the programmes as I was off for my dance practice! In between some friends kept updating me about the events and on-goings. And the Vandemataram song turned out very well as the audience too participated in it by clapping their hand to the tune. And as it ended I was informed that after the skit that was going on then,  there wud be a dance by a group and then was our's! We were all ready and charged up and were eager to enter the stage! 


(Though y'all might feel I'm exaggerating it like some maha muqqabla on tv, it was only the infectious enthusiasm that made that day.) And as we received many of the wishes from our friends,....all teh best ra...man rock on!....we're all there 4 ya!...we'll cheer up and u guys shake the audience ;) ...we felt very glad and i went on to the stage to set it for our convinience as others waited for my signal and another busy wid the sound system guy giving the cd, the lady in-charge was clouded with a frown and made awkward gesture at me!I couldn't completely comprehend it and asked my friend wht was goin on. She signalled me to come down. Surprised, I got off from the stage, she broke the unpleasant news, "Guys, your dance is cancelled!".


For a moment we kept thinking, wht's wrong wid ya, lady? And her words resounded in our minds...your dance is cancelled! "But why?", we protested as she answered, "The guy who has done the skit has taken longer time than planned and we've run outta time. So I'm sorry to say tht we need to cancel ur dance!" We protested a lot and requested her again and again and also asked if we can go and ask principal as he proved out to be the main villain cancelling our show, all but in vain! All her responses were in negation. There was nothing more to ask or talk or, rather negotiate! Thus discouraged we were off...roamed around the campus cursing and swearing and talking names...she isnt completely the main villain and we cant completely blame her. And thus in anger broke the CD of our dance song! All of us looked at each other and everyone smiled! We threw the pieces and they scattered in the college lawns as 1 of our friend took few pieces to show to the lady!


An unknown apprehension started to well inside me as I looked at my friends who, having been forlorned kept chatting and laughing away not considering if i was wid them or not...I found an empty space in one of the lawns and uncomfortably nestled myself as sunlight directly hit my face and irritated me. But I didnt move... rather, I couldn't move!

SIXTH SENSE TECHNOLOGY

SIXTH SENSE TECHNOLOGY

Pranav Mistry (click on the name to go to the official Pranav Mistry website)

Here something for all of you techie tinkerers to try when its released. In a presentation at TEDIndia by Pranav Mistry  on “several tools that help the physical world interact with the world of data -- including a deep look at his SixthSense device and a new, paradigm-shifting paper "laptop" ”, Mistry says he'll open-source the software behind SixthSense, to open its possibilities to all. 


But what actually is this Sixth Sense technology?


'SixthSense' is a wearable gestural interface that augments the physical world around us with digital information and lets us use natural hand gestures to interact with that information.


View this mind-blowing video here:

Stop Killing of Girl Child -- Letter From Baby Girl From Heaven

Dear Mommy,


I am in Heaven now... I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existence. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.


Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I felt so hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.


That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop.


Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.

Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand.


And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me away to a wonderful place... Then I was happy. I asked the angel what was the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion". I am sorry, for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It ****ed my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.


Love,
Your Baby Girl

                                                                 


Letter Courtesy: http://dctorrent.com/

Online grievance forum - Govt. of India

Government of India has an online Grievance forum at http://pgportal.Gov.in/ 
 
The govt. Wants people to use this tool to highlight the problems they faced while dealing with Government officials or departments like Passport Office, Electricity board, BSNL/MTNL, Railways etc. 

Many of us say that these things don't work in India . Couple of months back, the Faridabad Municipal Corporation laid new roads in his area and the residents were very happy about it. But 2 weeks later, BSNL dug up the newly laid roads to install new cables which annoyed all the residents.. A resident used the above listed grievance forum to highlight his concern.. To his surprise, BSNL and Municipal Corporation of Faridabad were served a show cause notice and the guy received a copy of the notice in one week. Government has asked the MC and BSNL about the goof up as it's clear that both the government departments were not in sync at all. 
(I'm not sure about the authenticity of the above incident!)

So use this grievance forum and educate others who don't know about this facility. This way we can at least raise our concerns instead of just talking about the 'System' in India . 
Invite your friends to contribute for many such happenings. 

PLEASE SPREAD THIS MESSAGE IF U WANT OUR INDIA TO HAVE A BETTER TOMORROW...

A new year re-fuel ?

The very first day of the New year's morning witnessed a change in the routine.

On the first note, I was woken up early inspite of my protests for having slept late on the new year's eve! The protests were paid no attention and I lethargically started to brush my teeth, languidly gazing at the newspaper with the toothbrush left unattended in my mouth. A whack from my mom set things straight and I got ready, for? New year's eve.Indian family.Devout Hindu family.And temple is the obvious answer. But the previous day's ill health left me no option but to rest at home. Somehow gathered some energy and headed for temple.

Before continuing I'd like to pause here and mention an irksome yet funny, mini fiasco!The autowala of the auto in which i came had no change for hundred and i had to go to some places to get it.And finally found a well established  store;the guy nodded in negation as I produced the hundred rupee note-his face clearly said: "You're gonna get change for nothing. Buy something and you can have the change." And so, complying to his terms I bought a packet of SMart Chips, Baked not fried! (:P). As there was no cover to put it in, I had to carry it throughout my stay in temple obtrusively, victimizing myself people's raised eyebrows and awkward glances!

  It so happens all the time that whenever I visit a temple, I'm often filled with guilt, for having committed many mistakes(i somehow repel the idea of putting it as sins, which is of course true!). It may be true that we commit mistakes but ask for forgiveness and continue our life; and also continue to commit mistakes? It is said so that Hinduism offers its follower the option to ask for forgiveness at the time of dead and we'll be unblemished, i.e., will be guilty of nothing, free from blame! But in practice, is it so? Commit all the sins that u want to in your life and finally ask God for forgiveness at the time of your death? I just am not able to accept this. I wouldn't mind anyone pointing the mistake in this above discussion.

As I entered the temple this strange feeling welled up from within and kept spreading the entire body paralyzing my major faculty, viz., my brain! I could neither help stop thinking about it nor keep avoiding it. It seemed inevitable.Ubiquitous.Everywhere there were idols of Hindu deities with the eternal sagacious smile on their face indicating tht they knew everything and are the perfect masters and are the directors of this cosmic drama called LIFE, kept reminding of the apparent fact that I had been discussing above. This feeling slowly overpowered the uneasiness I had in my stomach. But didnt relieve me of any ailment as the latter proved far more powerful!

As is the custom, we first visited Ganeshji's shrine and his affable yet sharp eyes made me bow down my head in utmost reverence but with a pinch of fear! We first circumambulated his shrine as my mom kept chanting some sacred unspeakable Sanskrit verses to herself and prayed in sincere devotion! Slowly the uneasiness started creeping over my body and I also had my hair stand on end! As I completed one circumambulation and headed for 2, my mom called me and gestured me 1 or 3 and I nodded and stopped recollecting how every time she reminds me of having only 2n+1(n<=0) rounds around shrines, meaning only odd numbered rounds; reason? Do, as I say was the answer! Never mind, as I came back to the present and found the crowd's irritable glance on my smart chips pack and then on me. I prayed to Ganeshji to relieve me of this guilty feeling and err...I paused there groping for another wish. the priest gave some holy water, put some holy grains in my palm along with some holy flowers and then put the holy crown with the deities feet on my head and proceeded to the next person doing the same. I rang the bell and clutching tightly to the smart chips pack, I stepped out of the periphery of Ganeshji's shrine! I felt relieved for a while and gazed skywards and Lord Vishnu idol's sight atop the highest point of the temple caught me and gripped me with the same feeling!


After exiting Ganeshji's shrine next was Lord Shiva's and then his consort's and next Shani's and then came my favorite, Hanumanji! There was no change in my inner feeling as the Lord of infinite grace looked over me as he did to anyone else with folded palms and reverence to his master. Clutching to the smart chips pack tight in the rush, i took the holy water(thirtha) and left his shrine. Then was Ayyappa and finally, it was Vishnu. Some serious decisions were being made in my mind(not sure if it was heart or both!) about my life. What were they for? I questioned as I sat inside the Periphery of Vishnu's temple. The voice answered "you've been thrown in the hostile regions of clash between mind and heart for the past one hour and these decisions, from now shall free u of ur uneasiness!" But I wasnt fully able to deduce still what decisions those were. But all of a sudden i found myself equipped with a strange sense of confidence and strength came into my mind and body. I somehow didnt like it and preferred the previous feeling; but it wouldn't leave. Slowly I began to introspect my mind and heart and felt I've got the energy to face any kind of encumbrances and the confidence to ward off and fight against any ill thought. With this new feeling of gut, I thanked all the Gods and as my mom and I strode out of the temple happily some force stopped me suddenly. The force asked,"This isn't ur first temple visit. Does that mean u need to re-fuel ur mind and heart every time u come? Do u injudiciously use ur fuel? And is this new year re-fill going to help u in any new way?". As I was seized with this uncomfortable dubiousness, I felt that the Gods weren't satisfied with my progress and wanna give some more. I felt that they were looking down from the heavens and smiling at me and as the Idol of Lord Vishnu came in sight, the previous night's question replayed in my mind,"an unknown apprehension!".

00:00:01 And a happy new year 2010

.....contd from my previous post.....


As I took out my cell phone(Nokia 6303) anticipating a flood of SMS's and calls, the first had already arrived and was awaiting my response. Thus the warm,affectionate,joyful,happy cries of "Wish u a very happy new year", "a very happy n prosperous new year","happy new year bro"...and on and on the SMS's continued to pour over and while I was attending to one call another one was in the waiting list. Thus in the next 2 hours, I was occupied with the busy job accompanied with a heavy duty of receiving their affectionate wishes with, "Oh! thank u n wish u the same!"..and etc.And was also imposed with the silent pressure of replying to those damned forwards and darn those mobile networks charging 1 rupee for every msg sent, against the usual 2ps or any offer!


My apartments seemed to be deserted but top floor witnessed a lot of buzzing activities. Disco lights.DJ activities.High volume sound.Club remixes.Partying.And those elegant footwear of young ladies and those of men,rough and rugged, yet posh kept moving swaying and tapping hither and tither to the high volume re-mixes! All these and more behind CLOSED DOORS!Heck once again! Damn it! though I may be an uninvited guest, the concept of closed doors everywhere irked me to the core! Thus finding peace in my seclusion on the terrace in the cold air I stayed for a while more and headed home and calls and SMS's still kept pouring over all the night and I remember attending the last call at 2.30(and my friends were surprised on finding that I was asleep at the new year's night!). But an unknown apprehension kept swaying in my heart(but not mind)! I kept saying to myself ... an unknown apprehension!

31.12.2009--00:00:00--01.01.2010 ...

First of all I'd like to wish all my readers a very happy-prosperous-joyous-bright-colorful-terrorism free-crime free New Year! :)  (And I dream all of it comes true!)


A quick overview of events tht took place b4 31.12.2009, 00:00:00:


After a series of arguments with mom I was finally granted permission to leave home and headed for Karu's (Karthik) place. And discussed with other friends about the failure of previous day's plan about an outing and also the following day's flop! Btw, forgot to mention, from the moment i got into a bus from my place, my head started reeling and my stomach paining leaving me sickening and dizzying! The bus was moving slow in the traffic and i felt good at the idea of returning home and cuddling myself in the rugs on my bed. But fought the urge and as the bus picked momentum the ailments too started picking up momentum. After reaching my friend's place i was in semi conscious or perhaps a trance like stage and let myself loose on the bed. Made some fruitless plans like flying kites in the heavy, dry winter air with another friend and disturbed another friend, Pavan, in his movie and urged him to meet us up at Anirudh's place. As I had well anticipated, all the plans have been a series of successful flops! As my uneasiness started to spread the body i bade good bye to my friends and took a bus home and took a nap of 2hrs and started restructuring my blog(as paz had been complaining that my page took time to load) and switched on star movies and enjoyed National Treasure 2 and took another short nap before I went out with my family for an aimless travel in the city.


After a brief discussion in the 30 minute traffic jam from my place,Yousufguda to Jubilee Hills, it was vaguely decided tht we head for Shilparamam Handicrafts Exhibition. It was better than I had anticipated, semi boring mela with dreary pieces of art. But as I had picked up my curiosity for arts, since an indefinite 4-5 months, the mela had above average stuff to offer. A stroll for 2hrs in the mela in the cool air seemed to recharge me for...err...for...well there was no new year party that i were to attend. So the entire charge was dissipated as we headed indefinitely for Necklace road to find that it was closed and frustratingly turned to tank bund to find another disappointment awaiting us. Finally made way to home. And there was another irksome factor. All the neighbors in my floor have gone out to their respective parties or outings to spend there time(not their mistake to irritate me); but those who were in their houses didn't put a welcome sign. They had their doors closed shut and inside their closed doors they must have celebrated. No one in my floor and those below mine seemed to shoe any interest in welcoming the new year together. Thus, I retorted to my usual,went up to the terrace and spend around half an hour in the cold air thinking of some resolution. And it struck me that I had promised a friend of mine, a fitness freak, Anirudh, that I would take up serious exercising everyday and would perhaps make it my, err...whatever one calls a new year resolution!I chuckled to myself and slowly took my cell phone out fully knowing well what was in stock for the coming hour!